Get all 14 Annie Fish releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Twin Trusts Twisted, Tufted, Welcome to Mairy (Live), Such a Sweetness, Incandescent, The Nuclear Age, The Working Day, WEIRD LIKE ME, and 6 more.
1. |
Anything Anything
02:31
|
|||
i get the feeling
that this has been like a dream
the way it’s been
trauma’s no way to live
my tired head
i’m running out of ways
to mark the time
look you survived a day
look you survived a week
look you survived a month
look you survived a year
but what’s the use
if everyday feels like this
and i can’t sleep
you know just where to press
and drag me back
but i wont forget who i am
i won’t forget who i was
i won’t forget who i’ve been
i won’t forget all i’ve done
i won’t forget anything
i won’t forget anything
|
||||
2. |
||||
it’s the classic scene
an empty bed
my arm stretched out
and all my fingers touch
is the light on your pillow
there is only dust
where once there was your smile
and there is only one
toothbrush left in the cup
these years
when you realize
that everything you felt
is not as sweet as it once was
and everything is trauma
you’ve been trying way too hard
to make it all okay
and now you jump at every noise
and haven’t slept
since god knows when
these years
these years we had
these years
we used to have
|
||||
3. |
Do It Or Do Not
02:40
|
|||
if i’ve had enough
will i do it like i thought?
will i climb up to the roof
with a bottle of wine?
and will i gaze at the stars?
will i fade as they burn?
will it be dusk or dawn?
and how long will it take?
and i will i walk down to the river?
will i sit down by the shore?
will a dog come and find me?
will he bite at my nose?
and who will it be?
who will find me down there?
and what will they think?
will they know who i am?
so when the only drawbacks
are the people i know—
are they enough for the scales,
to tip me back to “home?’
and i know apologies
will never suffice
but stuck without anything
else to explain—
so if i follow through,
what will be the thing to do?
who would grieve for my body?
and will they stop eventually?
but i truly believe
that something we need
is freedom from the bullshit
from the way things had to be
and i am tired of acting
like a great bag of stones
i release you from my weight
as i walk out the door
as i bid you goodnight
and as i bid you farewell
someday i hope that you could
forgive a poor wretch
like me
|
||||
4. |
Guts
02:39
|
|||
as i stayed up
to listen for
you to come home
i missed the point
when this turned grey
and i lost my friend
(who else knew me but you)
i’ve left myself with dreams of time a future lost
i cant forget the smoke of spring the massive cost
you tear and scream
so i sleep in dirt
it makes sense to me
i miss our world
how it was when we
still spoke at all
(the secrets no one knows)
i’ve left myself with dreams of time a future lost
i cant forget the smoke of spring the massive cost
i turned around
to share a joke
but you’re still gone
and the air still burns
from when you made me
say i never cared
you know you’re wrong
(at least i hope that you are)
|
||||
5. |
Slump
03:17
|
|||
when i hear you come home
beating down the door
and if i was reading
i would close the book
and throw it on the floor beneath the couch that i had made my home upon
and hide my
head in my hands
beneath my
old blanket
oh ho, its never enough
to keep your screaming away
i’m so tired
and when you slump into bed
or when you’re carried home
i keep my eyes shut tight
i scared of what i’m hearing
and if you keep on like this
i might just forget to breathe its happening i dont believe that i will see the end of this
i’ll hide my
head in my hands
beneath my
old blanket
oh ho, its never enough
to keep your screaming away
it’s in those wilding eyes
i don’t recognize
i tell you to your face
the only way that i’d hate you is if you died and then you wept and went back to the hospital
oh ho, its never enough
to keep your screaming away
it’s in those red hot eyes
i used to trust
i’m so tired and
i’ve had enough
of this scene
i dont think i’ll stay here but i cant leave you’re stuck with me and i am trapped with you
|
||||
6. |
Winterburn
04:05
|
|||
winter burn / in case of care
no monument / no rotten turn
a sour patch / a cabbage rot
a darkened stem / a careless yearn
and i cannot find
the time to rest
i have no power over this
i have no say of how
my life has gone
winter burn / a darkened turn
a masterpiece / is overturned
a life on hold / the liminal
a purgatory / impossible
to hold my head / to keep in step
to take a breath / i’m nothing left
and i cannot find
the time to rest
i have no power over this
i have no say of how my life has gone
winterburn / in lieu of faith
my sanity / upon the rocks
i feel so lost / a waste of time
when i lost you / it was the worst
a dried up cat / a rotten egg
a raccoon’s tooth / a skunk’s betrayal
a pair of shoes / hung up the wire
the fading ghost / of our desire
and i cannot find
the time to rest
i have no power over this
i have no say of
how my life has gone
|
||||
7. |
Couch
02:52
|
|||
a couch in the middle of nowhere
you and i walking out between the rocks and leaves
i keep swaying into you
a nervous magnetism that i don’t want to lose
i will choose to remember
this instead of now
‘cause now is when
i stand dreaming the feel of the grit of a rope
the chafing at the neck as the last thing that i feel
i’d rather be strangled by the strength of your arms
(the last time i felt something soft)
but i will stay swallowed in this place
held back by old mistakes
when they see that i’m getting too happy
they’ll be sure to remind me that i don’t deserve a thing
|
||||
8. |
The Nuclear Age
06:08
|
|||
when you say
you’ll slit my throat
what do i say
crying wolf at everything
sweetness for a small moment
snuffed again by barbs and bile
roaring back to hurt
i cannot deal
with every time you say you’ll die
someday you will wind up right
so go ahead and please cry wolf
it saves me from the moment it is true
and why can’t i
warm up my hands
why do i just remain cold
i feel my inside twisting taut
at the stress of holding on
making me a bloody knot
yet as warm blood should be
i remain cold
your screaming form
unknowing and wild eyes
as if i with all our years
a stranger or an enemy
to you
my sympathy
is lacking when the last thing i
hear in bed is “i hate you”
and still i give you my kindness
the act of kindness sparks the thought:
“what is wrong with me”
so gingerly
i peer in to mark your breath
making sure it remains drawn
and that the sheets move with your chest
to see if you will stir again
wonder what i’d do if you
weren’t
anymore
|
||||
9. |
Reference Man
06:15
|
|||
care and terror needling through the doorway of your life
care for someone i once loved beyond all sense of kindness and respect
shudder at the thought the vision of the hands of husband fresh from clink his blinding rage a screaming form of whirling fists against your bone
not to you i don’t believe of all the people you could hang a story like this on id never wish this world of hurt upon you i still think you deserve all the best that life can give i think you’ve had enough you’ve lived enough for two or more at least
terror setting in a set of circumstance as truth and horror making bruise upon a silver mound of skin i swear to something if he breaks your nose i will erase him from this plane
yes if he breaks the nose i’ve spent a lifetime writing tome and tome again about in edifice to memory the one night where we shared a kiss i swear the same old moron’s hope that you could realize id never lay a hand upon you in the way i hear he does
and thus if this like a sinking ship i can only hope to something there is flotsam in the wake to make a desperate grab and hold a hope for future’s sake because the last thing you should do is drown you’re too important to the world you’ve help to build inside the eyes of those you’ve helped to birth your titanic resilience will carry you away alive upon the wreckage of this time
you must hold on you must hold on you must ignore the iceberg’s pull upon the hull the night will end the dawn will come and you will find your warmth again i swear
|
||||
10. |
Ghost of Cheer
03:14
|
|||
i could call it dust
or i could call it skin
i could call this water
or i could call it blood
i could be sad
since i have to remember
who will i be
when all this is over
and so
grief follows joy follows guilt follows calm
follows everything else you could feel
its the grim price of memory as sticky as sin
it’s the cost of never forgetting a thing
someday i will reach out to every one else
who saw through the obvious lie
i cant believe that i have to live through these times
and drown in this joke of a life
and if i breathe
and try to feel
the touch of a streetlight
so i have reason
a God to believe in
and i swear
that i will try to
move through the ocean of wishing i could
like a ship of bone cuts through the blood
and i don’t know what i’ll look like three days from now
but i don’t think i care anymore
and i’ll find some peace in the drift of the trees
and laugh when you say i survived
what i need is a future as thin as a mist
to hide in my sheets like a ghost
like a ghost,
like a ghost of cheer,
like a ghost as if a ghost was always with me
but for now, it’s late out
and i’ll have to make my own way home
|
Annie Fish Chicago, Illinois
annie
doll
capricorn
//
T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes!
Streaming and Download help
If you like Annie Fish, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp